If you’re reading this because I sent you this link in response to a question, consider this an apology. I’d love to answer your question, but I just can’t.
I’m writing this on December 27th, 2021 at about 3am.
I was sick on Christmas. Nothing too serious, but I was running a fever, and I had some chills, body aches, and a deep cough I couldn’t shake. I still spent about four hours answering comments, messages, and emails. Today (well, technically yesterday; the 26th) my wife was sick – probably with the same bug I have – so I spent the day hanging out with her, and waited to start work until she went to bed. I just finished up. And by “work,” I just mean answering comments, messages, and emails. I’m still sick. Better than Christmas, but I’m still under the weather.
As I was finishing up work for the evening, I was struck by the absurdity of it all. I should be in bed right now. Even if I wasn’t sick, today was Sunday, and it’s the day after Christmas. It’s not a day to be working until 3am.
So, why was I working this late, under these circumstances?
It’s certainly not because I believe in all of the “rise and grind” workaholic bullshit. I very much believe in working to live, not living to work. I’m not writing this because I think you should adopt this type of lifestyle, and I’m absolutely not looking for any sort of “credit” for doing this to myself.
More than anything, I do it out of a sense of obligation, which I now recognize was probably a misplaced sense of obligation.
When I started gregnuckols.com (which became strengtheory.com, and now strongerbyscience.com) back in 2012, I told myself that I’d be 100% accessible to anyone who had any questions about fitness, nutrition, my articles, etc. I was 20 years old, and the very definition of a “nobody.” There were a lot of lifters and writers I looked up to, and I’d try to ask them questions (via email, on forums, on social media, etc.), because I respected their opinions and perspectives. They ignored me 90%+ of the time, because of course they did. They were busy people, and I’m sure that fielding random questions (which were probably pretty dumb questions) from some random kid was pretty low on their priority list. But I told myself that if I was ever in a position where people were asking for my opinion, I’d always be available, and personally respond to everyone.
Fast forward almost 10 years, and that’s exactly what I’ve done. When I wake up, I check (in this order, though it’s not necessarily the order of importance) my texts, my Instagram comments, my Instagram messages, my Reddit messages, my Reddit comment replies, new threads posted in the Stronger By Science subreddit, new threads posted in the Stronger By Science Programs subreddit, new threads posted in the MacroFactor subreddit, my Facebook comment replies, new threads posted in the Stronger By Science Facebook group, new threads posted in the MASS Facebook group, new threads posted in the MacroFactor Facebook group, Twitter messages, Twitter replies, ResearchGate messages, ResearchGate paper requests, comments on StrongerByScience.com, Facebook messages, and emails. Between all of those different places, I typically respond to 150-200 discrete questions per day, which takes me about 5-6 hours. That’s excluding internal communication within Stronger By Science, MASS, and MacroFactor, and purely personal communication (keeping up with family and friends).
At this point, it’s simply become untenable to keep this up. I dread publishing new content, because the influx of additional replies (which I feel obligated to respond to) will completely subsume my next workday. I barely have time to even write new, free long-form content, which is the part of my job I enjoy the most (my last “real” article that wasn’t just a republished MASS piece came out in March of last year). When I have to produce a fair bit of content (i.e. when I’m writing new MASS content), my workdays regularly stretch out to 13-15 hours and my personal life and relationships suffer. I feel like I can’t take time off of work – not even one day over the weekend, much less a full vacation – because if 150-200 things to respond to turn into 300-400 (with one day off) or 1000+ (with a week off), I’m fucked for several days after I get back to work. Hence working on Christmas when I’m sick, followed by working until 3am the next day.
And the thing is, I don’t have to do any of this. I’m my own boss, so it’s not like there’s any formal requirement. It’s purely predicated on my weird sense of duty and obligation.
And, to be clear, I don’t actually dislike responding to everything (so if you’re reading this, and you’ve sent me dozens of messages over the years, certainly don’t feel bad about it). I’m in this business because I enjoy helping people. I wouldn’t have kept it up for this long if I didn’t at least feel neutral-to-positive about responding to everything, sense of obligation be damned. It’s just reached the point where responding to everything is having a marked negative impact on the business as a whole (it’s hard to have a flourishing content-based business when you don’t actually have time to make new content), and a marked negative impact on my life. The amount of things to respond to just keeps increasing, so I’d need to pull back sooner or later (unless the business itself started shrinking, which isn’t really an option since I’m not the only person depending on it now). Responding to everything was very manageable 5 years ago, fairly manageable 3 years ago, and not very manageable (but not completely out of control) 1 year ago, but it’s now approaching the point of being completely overwhelming.
With that in mind…I’m done with it. For real this time. I actually tried to pull back when the podcast launched (I said I’d just collect the best questions and answer them on the podcast), but I didn’t stick to it. But for me, when I put something in writing, it feels more “real” and final.
In concrete terms, this just means I’ll be shifting priorities. Instead of making new content in the slivers of time I could find around responding to everything, I’ll be focusing on new content first and foremost, and peek at my notifications when the creative and productive juices stop flowing. I’ll still be pretty active in the Stronger By Science programs subreddit (at least through the end of the /r/weightroom program party), in the MacroFactor FB group and subreddit, and in the replies for new long-form articles I write. Otherwise, I may reply to other things here and there if I have time, but I’ll be quite a bit harder to get ahold of. I don’t particularly like it, and I know 20-year-old Greg would be disappointed in me, but I’ve finally reached the point where it’s necessary.
I’m sure this will come across as a trite and self-absorbed way of ending a trite and self-absorbed blog post, but I feel like I’m closing a significant chapter of my life; this is something I’ve done for close to a decade now. I anticipate that it will be painful in a way that’s difficult to explain (my strange sense of obligation runs deep), but I’m excited to see what I’ll be able to do with the time this decision will free up for me. I should be able to start writing free articles more consistently, and who knows; maybe I’ll even take a day off from time to time.
I’m publishing this now before I have a chance to get cold feet.
Now it’s time to get in bed.